


What Did She Just Say?!

by gnetophyta



Series: Why Am I Here? [5]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-05-31
Packaged: 2018-04-02 05:31:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,100
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4048030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gnetophyta/pseuds/gnetophyta
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Snapshots of fatherhood in the Iwaizumi household.</p><p>(Alternatively, Hajime being overprotective and Tooru laughing at him)</p>
            </blockquote>





	What Did She Just Say?!

Though they were both initially worried about surrogacy, the Iwaizumis’ little girl was born healthy and scowling after a smooth nine months. While everyone had expected Tooru to be the one fretting over the smallest details and frantically consulting the internet every time the child so much as sneezed too loudly, it was Hajime that had taken up the mantle in a spectacular way. He had their pediatrician on speed-dial, having knocked Tooru to the second spot (‘really, Iwa-chan?’), a stack of parenting books about six feet high (all of which he had read and annotated), and hovered over the crib when the little girl was sleeping, no matter how little he himself had slept (‘Iwa-chan, why don’t we just buy a crib big enough for the two of you?’).

 

\---

 

It was Hajime that called Tooru at work one afternoon, panicking in a very Iwa-chan way. That is to say, mumbling angrily and quickly.

“Ya-ho~!”

“Tooru.”

“Yes, Hajime?”

“Ayako hasn’t stopped hiccupping in three minutes and fifteen,” Tooru heard a pause, knowing his husband was checking a stopwatch. He choked back a chortle. “No, seventeen seconds. Can you hear her? It’s so loud. What if this is just a manifestation of something serious?” Iwa-chan’s voice rose in urgency the longer he spoke.

“She’s fine! She’ll be fine once you’ve burped her. It’s not the end of the world, Iwa-chan.”

“I thought we agreed to stop with the Iwa-chan.”

“You agreed. I never did!”

“I think I should call the doctor.”

“No, I think you should leave the poor woman alone. You scared her half to death the last time you went in for Ayako’s checkup.”

“I didn’t _scare_ her.”

“You scared her. We’re not all resistant to Iwa-chan rage, you know. Only I possess that special skill!” Over the receiver, he heard their daughter burp spectacularly, dissolving immediately into pleased burbling. Hajime’s sigh of relief rattled through the phone line, making him even more endearing, somehow. Tooru could not handle Iwa-chan’s baby-induced cuteness.

“She stopped!”

“You can put the stopwatch down now.” Tooru teased.

“I don’t have a stopwatch.”

“Tell someone who’ll believe you~”

“Dumbass.”

“I’ve got a patient, Iwa-chan, but I’ll talk to you and our scowling princess later! Give her a kiss from daddy!” Tooru heard Hajime coo to the child and his face split into a grin. Those two would be the death of him, honestly.

 

\---

 

One day, Tooru came home to find Hajime asleep, slouching against the back of the couch with Ayako curled up on his chest. The little girl had Hajime’s shirt balled in her tiny, chubby fists, rising and falling with her father’s deep, easy breaths. Hajime’s hands were clasped beneath her diaper to keep her from rolling off of him as she slept, though Tooru doubted Ayako could ever leave the comfort of his steady heartbeat against hers. Tooru had accidentally let out a high-pitched squeal, biting his knuckles to contain his emotions. As he was wont to do, he took a few pictures, sending them to Daichi and Suga, and their respective parents, with the caption of “~Sleeping Princesses~.”

 

\---

 

“You’re such a mom, Iwa-chan.”

“I’m not a mom, dumbass. We’re both dads, and technically, you’re Iwa-chan too.”

“No, there can be only one Iwa-chan! But you’re totally mom-dad.”

“That doesn’t make any sense, _Iwa-chan_.”

“You can’t call me Iwa-chan, Iwa-chan!”

“SHH! You’ll wake her, you twit.”

 

\---

 

Tooru had taken up baking as a hobby, much to Hajime’s great displeasure. It wasn’t that he was particularly bad at it, but he had a tendency to leave the kitchen looking like ground zero when he did. Since they had a cook-or-clean arrangement, this often left Hajime cleaning icing or strange batter smears from the windowsills, countertops, ceilings and Tooru himself (that part he didn’t mind). Ayako was buckled into her high chair one Saturday afternoon, slapping her little hands delightedly against her eating surface. The blueberries in front of her had been reduced to a mere plaything, smeared all over the plastic, but Hajime was still watching her with a blissful smile curling his lips. Both papa and daughter enjoyed being in the kitchen when daddy was making messes and humming.

“Ayako, do you take after your more handsome dad and leave disaster in your wake, hmm?” Ayako shrieked in reply, throwing a still-intact blueberry. Tooru listened to the two interact as he clanked his way through their baking pans. “Yeah, probably. But I think you’re smarter, little lady.”

“I want to be offended that you think an infant is smarter than I am, but this is our child we’re talking about.”

“See? Your daddy’s a dumbass. Yes, he is!” Hajime nodded, eyes wide, laughing as his daughter copied his movements.

“Iwa-chan! You use that word too much around her!”

“Pff, like she knows what it means.”

“You were the one that insisted she only listen to classical music to make her smarter. Swearing is a little counterproductive.”

“Is it okay if I call daddy a dumbass, Ayako?” The eight month old giggled, scooping up blueberry mush and rubbing it across her cheek. Hajime grabbed a rag and wiped her off despite her very vocal protests.

“Iwa-chaaaaaan. You’re corrupting our baby!”

“Am I corrupting you, sweetie? Am I?” Tooru was powerless when Hajime started with the baby talk, the tone so at odds with his usual roughness. “Nooo, I’m not, am I?”

 

\---

 

“Say papa, Ayako! Pa-pa! Papa!” She responded with gurgles, reaching her hands out for Tooru to pick her up and snuggle her under his chin.

“You can’t rush it, Hajime.”

“I know.”

 

\---

 

At three in the morning, they heard a telltale wail from Ayako’s room. They had only recently moved her from their bedroom, and she wasn’t adjusting well. Tooru threw off the covers, sitting up groggily and rubbing his eyes. Hajime sat up a moment after, gently pushing the other man back down amongst the pillows.

“It’s my turn. You keep sleeping.”

“Sometimes you’re really sweet.”

“Sometimes, Trashykawa?”

“Yep, only sometimes.” Tooru smiled blearily, curling back up into the duvet.  Hajime flicked his husband on the forehead and padded over to the nursery. Unable to sleep, the taller man rose from bed a few minutes later, scratching his belly before wandering over to join his two favourite people. Halfway down the hall, Tooru heard Hajime - _singing_? Slowing his pace, he snuck to the nursery, hiding behind the doorframe to obscure himself. Hajime was quietly singing a lullaby, sashaying across the hardwood with Ayako curled in his arms. The pale glow of the nightlight illuminated the softness in his eyes, the absolute love he had for the tiny life dozing against his chest.

“You’re not as quiet as you think, Tooru.” Hajime turned his head towards the door, backlit by a blue glow. Tooru recoiled, surprised by the attention, but quickly switched to feigning innocence.

“Oh, I just got here, Iwa-chan!” He whispered.

“You are an awful liar.” Tooru crossed the room to his husband, embracing him from behind. He snaked his long arms around Hajime’s so he too was holding their daughter, and rested his chin on Hajime’s shoulder.

“I love both of you so much.” Hajime leaned his head against the feathery softness of Tooru’s hair, closing his eyes.

“Look at you, Hajime, getting all sentimental on me!” Iwa-chan pursed his lips. “I love you too. And you, little one.” Tooru smoothed the delicate strands from Ayako’s forehead, marveling at how much she had grown in so short a time. They swayed gently in the dim light, humming the lullaby together.

 

\---

 

“Shouldn’t she be talking already? She’s nine months old! I’m going to call-”

“No, Hajime, you are absolutely not traumatizing the doctor again, and nine months is too early.”

“It was _one_ time. I didn’t really traumatize her.”

“Every time you interact with her, I swear she reconsiders her profession.”

“I’m not that bad!”

“You’re terrible.”

 

\---

 

Daichi and Suga came by to visit one weekend, bringing wine for Hajime and Tooru, and a pile of felt books for little Ayako (ever the doting uncles). She had begun standing up on her own a few days earlier, and Suga helped her walk along with her tiny fingers grasping his thumbs. She stomped along with the awkwardly wobbly gait of a young child, uttering chains of warbled syllables to Suga like a story.

“Suga’s going to steal her, you know.” Daichi stated, eyes following his husband and the fierce warrior baby that was trying to crush foam blocks into oblivion. “I’m not sure I’d complain, either.”

“She loves Suga! I don’t think she’s ever cried in his arms.” Hajime made eye contact with a frowning Daichi. “Don’t take it personally. Just because she cried _every_ time you held her-”

“That’s very reassuring, thank you.”

“It’s different when it’s your own. She cries in my arms at least ninety percent of the time because I don’t let her get away with everything - unlike _some of us_.” Tooru fixed Hajime with a glare, but the other ignored him easily.

“I can’t say no to that face.” Hajime mumbled, avoiding eye contact.

“How could you?” Suga cooed, picking Ayako up and hoisting her on his hip. “Look at all this. It’s like someone took Hajime and made him cute!”

“Thanks, Suga.”

“She even scowls like you do. It’s precious.” The little bundle of energy stretched her arms out towards Tooru, whining. She clasped and unclasped her fingers, squirming out of Suga’s grip.

“Baby, how did you know I had food?” Tooru grabbed her, letting her stuff an animal cracker into her mouth. He had gotten in the habit of slipping snacks in every pocket of his clothes since Ayako had started eating solid food, and she was smart enough to know this.

“Na!” She commanded, spitting crumbs everywhere.

“Just like her daddy.” Hajime took a jab at his husband, while Suga and Daichi bit their tongues to avoid the impression that they were taking sides.

“Dam! Dam! Ess! Damess!” Ayako shrieked, slapping a hand on Tooru’s forehead.

“Did she just-” Suga looked ready to burst at the seams. “Uncle Suga is so proud!”

“DID MY BABY JUST CALL ME A DUMBASS, HAJIME?” Hajime looked torn between laughing and living to see tomorrow, his body rigid in his seat. Ayako giggled, oblivious to what she had started.

“I’m sure it was just a coincidence. She probably just made some random noises!” Daichi stuttered, trying his best to calm Tooru, who looked ready to disembowel his better half. Ayako went ahead and ruined all attempts by reaching for Hajime, calling “Ee-cha! Ee-cha!”

“I may be reading too much into this, but I’m pretty sure your child thinks your names are Iwa-chan and Dumbass.” Suga was bent over the couch, wheezing with giggles, loving every minute of the show. Daichi gave up trying to stay serious and coughed a laugh, quickly breaking down and chuckling throatily. “She’s your kid, alright!”

“Daaaamess! Ee-chaaaa!” The second word was pronounced with an oddly familiar, playful lilt. Tooru and Hajime made eye contact, trying to be irritated at one another, but it failed spectacularly. They started laughing as hard as Daichi and Suga were. Hajime stood, throwing his arms around Tooru and Ayako, enveloping them completely.

“Our child’s first word was ‘dumbass,’ Hajime. Just remember all those times that I specifically told you _not_ to use it so much around her, but you said ‘oh, nooo, it doesn’t mean anything to her!’ SHE LITERALLY THINKS MY NAME IS DUMBASS.”

“Isn’t it, though?” Tooru ran his free hand through his hair, attempting to recompose himself, but his smile was much too wide and genuine to hide.

“She is so you that it’s ridiculous.” Hajime leaned in to kiss his husband, nearly knocking their teeth together because neither could close their lips around their grins.

“I am _so_ glad we came over today, wow.” Suga clutched his stomach, taking deep breaths. “I want you to get return address stickers with your names as ‘Dumbass and Iwa-chan Iwaizumi’ on them. I will personally pay for these, I promise.“

“Sugaaaa.”

“Wouldn’t that be great? Wait! No, I’ll make t-shirts for Hajime and Ayako. ‘If found, return to Dumbass.’ I’m a genius!” Suga clapped his hands together delightedly. “Yesyesyes!” Daichi shook his head, and the two Iwaizumis snuggled their unwittingly hilarious daughter to within an inch of her life. Daichi grabbed Suga’s hand, smiling broadly. Soon, the smile said. Soon.

“DAMASS!”

“How am I supposed to explain this when she hits preschool?”

“I dunno, seduce the people working there? It’s never failed you before.”

“Iwa-chaaaaan~”

 

**Author's Note:**

> That's it! This is the final installment of the series, and I hope y'all enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed writing these giant dorks. 
> 
>  
> 
> As always, come hang out on [tumblr!](http://gnetophyta.tumblr.com)


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